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Years ago, when I was knee deep in crying aged children and hadn't been to bible study in quite a long time, a friend and I decided we needed to stop worrying about how inconvenient it was for us to get to church and we really needed to get to this particular women's study at church. We pushed in our strollers. Re-registered our children for that specific day at church.  I'd been at our church for years and in several different leadership positions. My friend has also been at our church for years, but is more of an introvert so getting her to go anywhere was a bit of a struggle. 

So we get there...we get to the door to register. We made it to loading and unloading all the tiny ones. Strapping on whichever babies were still nursing at the time and we heaved our relieved breath and stood in line to register. When we finally were at the front of the line the woman told us we couldn't attend the study. Even though the flyer in hand didn't say anything about limited availability or pre-registering she sent us away and with the reason of their not being enough table leaders. 

We were not only completely defeated and on the verge of tears we felt ousted from our own home church in a way that felt like deep betrayal for some reason. 

The part that bothered me most was that if we had been visitors or people more apt to leave a church we would have. It wasn't handled well and even I, who am not easily offended, had my feathers ruffled. 

We could have:

• Done nothing
• Thrown a fit
• Left the church
• 
  

but...

we prayed. 

After a time I felt compelled to speak with church leadership about what had happened. I was concerned we weren't the only ones it had happened to and that it would have turned people completely away from our church because of attitudes of exclusivity and unfriendliness. In the end we were told that shouldn't have happened, they were very sorry and who knows what was or wasn't said to the offending party. 

Seeing her after that was tough, but I HAD to assume the best. Maybe she was new. She didn't seek to offend us. She had no idea how much we needed to be there or how the enemy used the experience to keep us from trying again for some time. 

Here is the thing about assuming the best:

• Assuming the best helps in all relationships: We were told in our pre-marital counseling to always just assume the other person wasn't trying to hurt you. This is great advice for all of life. 

• People make mistakes...they are not generally malicious: Remember we all make mistakes, say foolish things and mess up. Remember that when you are the one offended. 

• Grace and forgiveness are fabulous qualities of a Christian: Being quick to forgive is biblical even when it's challenging. Having grace for others shows the maturity of knowing all you have been forgiven. Who are we to hold grudges. 

Keep your mindset focused on someone else always having the best of intentions and you will do well to assume the best of all situations. 

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This post was written by Nickole Perry, co-founder and Director of Operations at Cedar Creek Ministries. 

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